#i have to try

[bookwyrminspiration]

If I knew how to draw it would be over for you hoes <- is an artist

[andwhentheangelscome]

go off about the DE debrief pls

Okay okay okay okay SO - gosh, where to even begin.

Okay, so: You're standing above the Whirling-In-Rags (which - by the way - is an INCREDIBLE name for this particular location, as Harry is quite literally caught in the storm of his own hopes and failures and responsibilities and poverty BUT I DIGRESS ALREADY), and you're invited to take in a view of the square which will comprise a central location for the game's central drama, and here, at the end of your first day - for a new player, spent running around haphazardly, talking to people who hate you, who have strong opinions about you and about this world that you barely understand - both as the player AND diegetically as Harry - and right before you try to pack it in and give it another go tomorrow, Kim does something important: he invites you into the story in a way that frames not only what you have done in a way that is encouraging (something needed as a player after all the disorientation) but also deeply personal for this character.

This moment isn't just about the narrative gameplay utility of taking the player aside after they've finished Chapter One (so to speak) and making sure they understood the major components of the story that they're in. It's about giving the player a chance to see Kim Kitsuragi - a character who is deeply straight laced, and particular, and necessary for Harry's potential to heal and to move forward from this point where he's found himself - in a moment of genuine vulnerability, and also genuine power.

Kim pulls a cigarette. His minor vice, his personal challenge, one of the markers of his Cool. He takes you through the days events, making sure that as a new player, you aren't completely lost as to what your goals are here, and what's central to achieving them.

(I had forgotten about this until I've been watching it back - he also compliments the snakeskin shoes!!! The green does compliment the orange!!! And those SHOES - one of the many things that makes me headcanon Harry as a closeted-even-to-himself bisexual, like - Kim KNOWS that it's a bold fashion choice and admires it, okay I'm veering off what's just in the text itself now here)

And then he "zooms out," so to speak. We get a discussion of the RCM, an organization which is core to Kim's belief system, which I read as being a steadfast commitment to the ideals of self-governance, of propriety in the social order, of there being a right way to carry a weapon, and a right way to protect the things worth protecting.

He talks about having been a Moralist (a political ideology coded as being similar to specifically European Liberalism), when he was younger, and falters when trying to articulate why he moved on from their beliefs, except for throwing in a comment about how their motto is more about "what they want you to think about them" implying that, for all their talk, they fail to truly meet those values of "Love, Compassion, Self-Discipline", a statement which the situation in Martinaise genuinely supports.

And it's hard to understate how good the music is in this scene too. Breathy and expansive and yearning and defiant and sad.... It's everything that the story is set up to make you feel. It's big, and it's aching, and musically it's all about how it isn't time to give up yet, not now, not while there's still some way to stand on your two feet and do something about all the problems in the world.

And what's insane about that feeling and that idea is that it's actually the central thing that Harry and Kim deeply share. It's what makes them good cops. The story tells us - both directly through text, and through their actions (assuming that you're not playing Harry as a fucking fascist) - that they get up, every day, broken as they are, and try to Do Good in a world that is beautiful, and hostile, and complicated, and impossibly hard to see clearly through all of the ideologies, and the daily grind, and all the pointless pain, but you still have to try to do the right thing. Because it's worth it. Because that's what you owe it.

Harry has been beaten down by this challenge. He's tried to be good, and smart, and tough enough to take on the problems of the world, and of his community, and he has been brought here: to his last leg, to the Whirling-In-Rags, certain in his heart that he's been beat.

But Kim refuses to accept that answer, and so does Harry's soul (a stand-in for us, as the player), he refuses to accept that nothing can be done, just because the problems seem so large, and intractable.

And then Kim does the best thing that he could for Harry, and for us, who are facing the same exact questions in our own, much bigger, just as complicated world:

He stares the challenge down with courage. And despite what he believes through the clarity of his sight, he hopes for a better world:

It's this line, this Perception check, that I always come back to, when I think about what this game really wants me to take away from this whole story. There's more to it than just that, of course, this game is full of lessons about money, soldiers, workers, sex, power, honor, and beauty,

but this is the thing that I need the most, when I'm trying to find my own way forward. I need to be able to acknowledge that maybe I won't see the world become more kind, more loving, and more honest before I die. Maybe it'll still be just as hard and bleak in 20 or 50 or 100 years.

But still.

I still have to believe that the struggle won't break me down. That the work, the very belief that trying is worth it, will drive me forward,

that it will make me look young. when it should make me look tired.

And then just like that, it's over. It's time to go back inside, to let the moment fade, and to take that courage as far as it will take you.

There are so many good scenes and interactions in this incredible masterpiece of gameplay and storytelling, but the Day One debrief will stick with me forever, I think.

[astrids-multiverse]

i wish i was good at drawing so that i could draw my atsv ocs 💔

[omegawizardposting]

DRAW. JUST DRAW. PICK UP YOUR PEN AND DRAW. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT. IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO BE GOOD. JUST FUCKING DO IT.

[hesitanalien]

Idk if the meds are like.. good, for making me this numb.. or bad.. for making me this numb. And dumb. Oh well..

[accki]

language learning is fun until you have to learn a language

[ninjakitten1699]

@dinogaby I don't know if you know Epic the Musical that well but I had an idea.

Basically it's Epic the Musical's "Monster" by Jorge Rivera-Herrans but Garmadon letting himself being corrupted in the end.

I just think it fits so well. The idea that Garmadon is at first questioning himself before he allows himself to become more like his Oni self to win a war that'd otherwise would be lost and to make sure he didn't lose anyone else.

[jesusinstilettos]

I have a confession I’ve been drinking a glass of carrot juice a day because I saw someone say if you can consume the right amount you’ll get a light glowy tan without turning too orange and I’m easily influenced

[goldensunset]

oh okay so there’s no way i’m beating cynthia

[rmhashauthor]

I'M TRYING 😭

It's just difficult because I'm trying something new. I've never written a 'dark' romance before and I have some VERY specific goals (writing a dark romance that ISN'T abusive or toxic but is still kind of fucked-up on the surface, writing some really scary shit without glorifying or romanticizing it, and just getting real good and nasty with it 😉) that are going to be really challenging for me. In a good way - I've read some INCREDIBLE books that HAD to be ten times as hard to write as they were to read, and I can't imagine the authors didn't spend many nights lying awake, staring at the ceiling and wondering "What the HELL is wrong with me? What am I even DOING? Am I insane? Do I need therapy or a lobotomy??"

Sometimes I wonder if I should start drinking 🍸

I think part of my hesitation is due to my inexperience in the genre, my concern that I won't do it 'right', and my anxieties around not having the experiences I'm planning to write about - I've never purposefully committed a crime, I've never been friendly with dangerous people, I've never been to space (nor do I plan to - space is TERRIFYING) and I've never endured the kind of treatment my main girl has. I'm going to have to make up a LOT of stuff on the fly and keep track of it, and I'm going to have to learn even more about stuff I've never been exposed to like organized crime and hands-on technical fixes. On top of all that, I'll need to walk a fine line between "this is so fucked-up" and "ohhhh this is HOT!"

The other thing is that I'm already a 'published' author and I feel like I have some high standards to meet and exceed. STARFISH is still my best work so far, IMO, and I still feel like The Dragon Prince's Consort didn't quite deliver the same quality. I learned a lot from it, but there's a part of me that isn't really happy with how I wrote the last third of the story. Some of that can be attributed to the fact that I was rushing things a bit, and some of it was because I had started a new job which ate up a LOT of my mental and emotional bandwidth. Since I took over for my mentor, though, I've been running things pretty smoothly so I'm hoping that my brain will come back to me soon. (Also fuck ADHD and anxiety - I'm told that going back to the gym will help)

In the meantime, I just have to keep trying. It doesn't matter how many times I have to re-start, re-write and re-structure, I can do this as many times as it takes. My Beloved Husband is FULLY supportive of me and my goals, so I have that in my corner 💜 So, I soldier on. You can't edit a draft that doesn't exist, and a shitty draft can be made un-shitty. Besides, writing is one of those things that both keeps me sane and lets me be completely unhinged so I'm not going to let a little difficulty stop me from doing it. I'm too goddamn stubborn for that 😃

STOP BEING SELF CONSCIOUS ABOUT YOUR CREATIONS STOP SECOND GUESSING WHAT YOU REALLY WANNA DO STOP DEBATING IT'S WORTH. LET YOUR ART SERVE YOU INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[sleepygaymerdisease]

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again